As I often say, the majority of the people on this earth are utterly, and undeniably, dumb.

I'm sick of seeing news reports detailing the results of yet another survey, that reveals to the shocked masses that they are indeed retarded.

I know they are. Why are you telling me?

Grammatical errors are something that makes me quite angry. Now, I know that my grammar is hardly perfect. I make constant mistakes, I know that - my spelling is poor too, but at least I'm not too far off the mark. In terms of the world at large however, well, if perfection was the centre of a dartboard, there wouldn't be much left of the wall around it.

Apostrophes are seen as treats, you know, like ice cream or rented movies. People put one in now and then to add a bit of variety to their lives. It doesn't matter where, seemingly, as long as there is an 'S' somewhere nearby. The following may serve as examples of the correct usage.

The man's lack of intelligence was profound.

I looked at the roadsign passively, but could not help but notice its horrifyingly poor version of the English language.

Jesus' hands were kind hands.

 Something that amazed me just now was on Call of Duty 4. Autobalance dumped me on the other team.

When I chose my team, I had my reasons. None of them were that this team was any better or worse than the other. I just happen to like the team I chose. I always choose the same one, I'm used to being on that team. But autobalance moved me. And from then on I was useless, because I kept geting confused as to which bloody side I was on. My reflexes were no good, being trained based on the other team.

Which got me thinking. What is the bloody point in autobalance? For God's sake, one team is ALWAYS going to be better than the other. Swapping a few people around won't help. It just pisses people off. Most of the time you'll have odd numbers on the teams but nobody whose opinion counts should care. When it's a 64 slot server, you can afford uneven teams. Nobody really gives a damn which team wins. You don't get anything out of it, it's not like an RPG where you get something of use to you in the future. OK, so on ranked servers you can level up and unlock better weapons and stuff, but I don't play on a ranked server. All you get on this one is a level that applies only to this specific server, and rewards you with precisely fuck all. So if there's no benefit to being on the winning team, does it fucking matter if one team always wins?

Let's be realistic. The winning team is not comprised soley of a well organised unit of gung-ho action figure types. They just happen to have got a higher score. The other team, contrary to what must be a popular and well established belief system by now, does in fact, not suck.

They get kills. Perhaps not as many, but as I said, who cares?

Team deathmatches are similar to a free-for-all, where everybody is on their own team, racking up kills in competition with everybody else in the game. The difference is that in a Team Deathmatch, you don't die every few seconds, which is what sucks about free-for-alls. Team Deathmatches are necessary for big, 64 player games. I'd say you could only really have 20 people in a free-for-all before it became crap.

So what does this all mean? Answer: In a Team Deathmatch, everybody plays for themselves, their allegiance to their team is purely superficial, and they consider themselves as much in competition with members of their own team as the enemy team. Therefore Autobalance has no value!

Another thing that pisses me off is Spawn Protection. Not a feature of the original game, spawn protection is added with a mod running on the server. It causes players to be invincible for a short time after spawning, to prevent them from falling foul of spawn killing - where a player dies instantly after spawning, without being given a chance to avoid their untimely (but probably deserved) demise.

Unfortunately, that invincibility lasts a little too long - and when you add in the fact that on the kind of crap, five minute maps that have flooded the scene of late, players of both teams spawn randomly across the map, you have a problem. That is, players finding themselves confronted by the enemy, who has just popped into existance in front of them. And when they shoot, nothing happens, the enemy just keeps on living. Oh, and shooting back fearlessly.

Yes, congratulations modders, you have just given every player in the game god mode! And what do you have to do to achieve immortality? Die of course! It all adds up. What you get on the right hand side of the equals sign however is a big steaming, stinking pile of n00b.

Idiots.

Another thing people can't do is tell the difference between a turtle and a tortoise. They may look similar to you idiots, but for God's sake, one has flippers the other has feet. I wonder, where do SEA TURTLES come from? Mebe... mebe from the sea?

And tortoises, they are not turtles. And only one of the two live in the sea. So by some raw and undoubtable logic, I can only assume that tortoises are the kind that live on the land. I don't need to think about it though, I just KNOW they are different, and which is which. It's not a hard thing to remember.

So when I see a nursery for children, that claims to be "Turtles Children's Nursery" I think I have a right to see it backed up by a picture of a fucking turtle. But you know what? I only saw the roadsign for it today, I didn't see its billboard style sign out front with shitty childrens style writing which is, by law, using Comic Sans which looks fuck all like children's writing. I know it will use Comic Sans. And I KNOW they don't have a picture of a turtle, because I just KNOW it's a picture of a fucking tortoise. It has to be. Anybody as fucking stupid as that, would have a tortoise. Straight from microsoft's basic clip art. Because original logos are so fucking hard to make. And there will be just fucking one. On his fucking own. And yet, it's "Turtles" nursery. That's plural, there should be more than one turtle. Or the nursery should be for turtles, or mebe they just mean the nursery is owned by a turtle, and haven't bothered to put the apostrophe in place?

See that? That's me being angry for something I have imagined they have done. But I know I'm right.

Just to make sure, I checked, the only clip art images of turtles are especially shit. The tortoise ones aren't much better but they don't suck quite as much.

I could keep going, I really could.

Christmas is of course approaching. It marches onward like a big... red... commericial juggonaut...

No wait, that whole similie is too appropriate. It ruined itself. Why? Because christmas IS a big, red, commercial juggonaut. It's right there in the Always Coca Cola advert, you know the one, with the lorries and all. And coca cola invented father christmas and he's what caused the end of going to church and the beginning of Jewish people participating whilst avoiding confused looks from Christians. And until I see that commercial on TV, it's not christmas, in my opinion.

Whatever, all this proves is that Coca Cola's advertising strategy has aroused some sort of deep assosciation in my subconcious.

What I was actually going to blog about is how for the first time in years I'm actually looking forward to christmas this time. Obviously it's the first time in years. I couldn't say "the first time in days" now could I. But anyway, I actually want it to be christmas now - whereas in 2004, 2005 and 2006 I was quite put out that it had to happen. All the gift giving was the first problem.

Personally I don't like mandatory gifts. I think gifts should be made on a random impulse of generosity, but I guess the number of people that applies to is severely limited. Add to that the fact that 90% of the population are mentally incapable of a random impulse of anything more sophisticated than "get food" and "go to sleep now". So we have to have calendar days that are specifically FOR giving gifts. We have conventions to determine what to buy each other, and how to dispose of said gifts.

No, if everybody was like me, we wouldn't give gifts at christmas. We'd just randomly give eachother stuff whenever it felt right to do so, with no regard to the relative value. Then it really would be the thought that counts, because if there was no thought, there'd be no gift. At the moment it's the date that counts.

Which brings me to the problem I had in recent years: no actual desire to buy anything for certain people I was expected to buy for.

That problem needs no further explanation. As I'm sure you'll agree.

Another problem is the being with family bit.

At christmas, people who are related are expected to spend time together. And that's fine but it doesn't need to be all day surely? And then there's the inevitable boredom. I mean, some people have hilarious uncles or grandparents with mansions full of giant TVs and stuff. But not everybody, for them it's tedious. Then someone has the wise idea to break out a board game.

Board games are stupid relics of a simpler (darker) time.

In computer and video games, there's winners and losers still. But crucially, there's often "winners" - plural. Only some of the players are losers. And even then, in computer games, it's the taking part that counts! Which is ironic in that that's a phrase usually assosciated with traditonal games, but it's completely innapropriate for them. In computer games, playing the game is where you get the fun. In board games, you have to roll dice and exchange fake money, which let's face it, isn't as fun as it looks in TV commercials. The fun part is when you win and are able to gloat to the losers. But only one person wins! And the only fun they get is at the expense of the other players.

Anyway, despite the arguments I make against christmas, I think this year it will be better.

*waves hand dismissively* I hope you weren't expecting something of substance from my meagre blog.

Tata! and Merry Christmas! Last year I said humbug repeatedly! (seriously :|.)

• Windows Vista. w00t! Vista, DirectX 10, it's all coming in a few weeks. When it does, we can finally wave goodbye and our collective middle fingers at the horror of XP, as our primary operating systems at least. Although, compatibility may force us to keep it installed in a dual-boot setup.
  
• KDE for Windows?! Oh yes, the K Desktop Environment might finally be available for Windows. Now, I know what you're thinking, the Windows Desktop Environment is the best thing Windows has going for it, particularly Vista which will be out by the time KDE for Windows is. But still, it will give us choice - KDE is better in some ways, particularly customization. I remember once reading that Microsoft hoped to force everybody to use the three standard, horrible XP themes (Blue, Silver and Olive) in order to unify the Windows XP experience. Basically, to stop people from going "Oh noes, I can't use this computer because the Start button is a different colour to mine". I know, people ARE that stupid. But screw them. Anyway; hopefully KDE for Windows will have all the Firefox losers installing it on their friends' computers and stuff (like they do with Firefox) and eventually that will lead to those people asking "I can use KDE... it's fine... so why am I still using Windows? Linux has KDE, but it's also free - free from copyright bullshit, free of charge, free of viruses and free of all the other rubbish that comes with Windows..." and they'll get Kubuntu.
  
  Hopefully, very hopefully, Gnome for Windows will follow. I prefer Gnome, because it's clean, quick and intuitive. It's more like the Windows Desktop Environment in many ways, than KDE, but it's better still. And if it does follow KDE for Windows, the Firefox Losers Effect will put it on everybody's computer and they'll all switch to Ubuntu and the world will be a brighter place. Won't happen, but it's a pleasant fantasy.
  
• Another Linux one, Beryl. Yep, the free, Open Source fork of Compiz, or whatever... it's a marvellous 3D desktop environment, similar in concept to Vista's Aero interface. The one that's taken them years to perfect. Beryl already works very well - and it's coming on nicely. Stick Beryl for Windows on top of Gnome for Windows, on top of Windows XP and suddenly you've got a potential Vista Beater. Oh the pun was intentional... anyway, in terms of the user experience for people who don't know much about computers, I think that would be a very successful combination.
  
  It's not like they're going to suddenly ditch Windows completely, you've got to wean them off it by replacing parts of it one by one.
  
• Yet another Linux one; easier to install software. A group was recently founded to make stuff easier to install on Linux, like it is on Windows. For me, installing things on Linux has always been a farce - if you have to use the terminal then it's no good. I'm hoping for something like InstallShield. Debian packages are ok of course, but still, they only satisfy dependences most of the time, not all of the time. And you get little in the way of customization for your install, the shortcuts to the software get dumped wherever the package-maker decided to put them, if at all, and some features you don't need, but have no choice but to install. That's when you can find a Debian package for the software you want of course, more often than not, you can't.
  
• A proper start to Next Gen gaming! Jees, it's getting late now. 2007 is Sony's last chance to get the PS3 out. Once they do, the 360 will have to find some real innovation from somewhere in order to compete, and this fierce competition will finally, at last, produce the kickass Next Gen games that we've been promised. The Wii, though I guess you could say it's next gen, won't compete with either the 360 or the PS3 for raw gaming quality. It will only ever compete in sales. And with all the casual gamers happy with their Wii, it will be down to only the true elite to decide whether their money goes to Sony or MS.
  
• The Rise of HD in the UK. "HD Ready flat panel TV!*" is a phrase used all too often in today's marketing, seeing as we don't have a lot of HD content to choose from here. No HD discs like HD-DVD or Blu Ray, and only limited HD TV if you have Sky. As 2007 progresses, we'll see even more HD hype, and towards quarter three, there will be a nice selection of players and HD films released. The jury's still out on whether Blu Ray's technical supremacy, but crippling DRM will beat HD-DVD's big-brand investors. This ties in with the real start on Next Gen games, as the PS3 will rely on Blu Ray for everything, and support for HD-DVD will soon make its way to the 360.
  
  I sincerely hope the hype amounts to something, and that something is HD Freeview. Experience tells me that if there is HD Freeview in 2007, it will be confined to one or two channels, and will probably be on Top-Up TV - which means it will locked out unless you pay.
  
  I'd like to see more 1080p TVs too, cheap ones.
  
• We all secretly want a go with the Wii controller. Well... I'm not too fussed, but I know everybody else is a little different to me. Anyway, if we're lucky 2007 could become The Year of The Controller. I reckon Microsoft is still shocked by how easily Nintendo just saved their entire business with one white rectangle (just like Apple did...) and they'll want in on the crazy-controller scene. Before the xbox franchise, the only hardware Microsoft made was peripherals, and their sidewinder joysticks were once something to be proud of. I reckon with their resources and previous experience they could knock something special up by quarter four of 2007. Just in time for Christmas.
  
  As to Sony, who knows? I expect weird controllers are the last thing on their collective minds right now, having missed the all important Christmas release, and luke-warm projects like Buzz and Guitar Hero doing little to obscure the fact that the PS2 is just plain old. We might see something along the lines of Buzz for PS3 (think: silver buzzers), or simple backwards compatibility, but gyroscopic masterpieces? But then, I could be wrong, Sony may be hoping their new ordinary controllers are innovative enough.
  
  And for the PC? Don't forget, it's still on the HD, Next Gen guest list. I reckon we'll see some overpriced stuff from Logitech, the odd new 360 controller that works on PC - but what I want to know is, how hard is it to make a Wii controller work on PC? I've got £10 converter box that turns a PS1/2 controller into a USB gamepad.
  
• Emulators, a fascinating subject, but we're now getting into the virtualization groove. 2007 could herald the start of reliable virtualization for enthusiasts. For the uninitiated, virtualization is about running more than one operating system on one computer at once. Take a look at this Google images search for some generic screenshots of Microsoft Virtual PC. See that? A Window on your XP Desktop showing a window on your 98 Desktop? Step that up a bit, think, a Window on your Vista desktop showing a Window on your XP Desktop, showing a program that won't work on Vista. Or even, showing something a bit experimental - virtualization is safer in many ways that just trying it on your PC's native OS. Don't forget, there's Mac OSX, All your Unix (Linux, FreeBSD etc.) and Solaris too... think of the possibilities there.
  
  And how about 360, and Wii? I'd like to see a Wii emulator that works well. We might see a decent PS2 emulator this year which runs at a usable level, on average computers, but it will be too late, with PS2 prices set to plummet like Sega's console empire after their Dreamcast nightmare, people will just buy a real one rather than muck about.
  
  360 emulators, yeah maybe, but you're looking at one frame per second or less on a menu screen for a good few years yet. PS3 emulators? Not with that cell processor in it. We'll probably not see a good PS3 emulator until 2013.
  
• Films, yes, 2007 has been the target of many a sequel trapped in development hell. One such sequel is Indiana Jones IV - but that's now been pushed firmly back to 2008.
  
  Nochnoy Dozor 3 (Dusk Watch), the third sequel to Nochnoy Dozor (Night Watch) was never exactly in development hell, but you could say it's sold its soul. The third in the Russian Fantasy Action Thriller series is to be set in the US and filmed in English, as a result of a bribe from Fox. I think part of the charm was the unusual modern Russian language and setting. Nevertheless, I'm not going to miss it - IMDB claims that the main character from the first and second parts will feature in this one too. It could just be a 2 second cameo, but still I'm willing to chance it's not.
  
• SATA Optical Drives! How much longer do we have to put up with these horrible, slow, short, ugly, inefficient IDE cables? Here's hoping that neither Blu Ray nor HD-DVD will ever be widely available as an IDE drive. Anybody with a computer worthy of such a drive will have a SATA port or two going spare. Personally, I have about 9 spare in this computer. Conroe Intel chipsets, the ones for Core 2 Duo CPUs, don't support IDE as far as I know, which is why my mainboard has a JMicron chipset for its single IDE port. Hopefully this will do something to speed the process of ditching IDE along.
  
• Proper internet TV. I want the BBC, Sky etc. to start taking the internet seriously as a way of getting their programmes to their audience. With live streams, bittorrent and direct downloads, in an easy and cheap (if not free) package, people could finally stop having to worry about which way their antenna (coat hanger?) is pointing.
  
• Cheap and effective VOIP on mobile phones? Last minute wish for quarter three, a prototype of a mobile phone no bigger than the average, not more than £130, that has all the features of an ordinary one, as well as the ability to make free (or very cheap) mobile-to-mobile calls, or mobile to PC calls, or mobile to anywhere else in the world calls with a reliable third party provider such as Skype or Verizon. Whether such things exist yet is beside the point; they're not going to be anything like current mobile phones for proportion, price or appearance.

Thanks for reading, hope you agree with some of the stuff in there, and I hope it gives you something to look forward to. When 2007 throws its shit at you like a deranged and angry monkey, just remember some of that sweet, sweet false-joy that a HD DVD player could bring...

Sirron T. Mighty -- out.

• Back to the Future (any)
• The Great Escape
• That damn film I can't remember the name of, that isn't very good but is bugging me because I can't recall its name
• Anything by The Muppets
• National Lampoon's <whatever>
• A Monty Python film
• Mr Bean - any episode.
• Some other crap, I dunno.

• 1 plate of potato wedges with cheese and stuff all over them
  
• 3 pints (large glasses) of Pepsi with ice
  
• 1 large vegetable supreme pizza (suitable for like normal 4 people at least), with the thick crust - the largest single pizza available
  
  and
  
• 1 bowl of ice cream

in one meal. And I was hungry still after despite the fact that my breathing was being inhinited by my stomach's invasion of the space usually used by my lungs.

• Got up at a good time
• Went to a local Car Boot sale
• Bought a brand new (never been used) graphics tablet for £1 (after bartering it down from £2) - it has 500 odd pressure sensitivity levels and works perfectly with my favourite application; Serif DrawPlus 8
• Bought a large Voodoo style hand carved wooden mask (it's really nasty looking) - for 50p (they wanted £1 but I never pay the asking price)
• Drank some coffee
• Drank some tea
• Finally bought a legal copy of Civilization IV, after - definately not - using a pirate copy for months (that would be illegal!)
• Played Civilization IV
• Watched Miami Vice
• Finished tweaking my laptop
• Got my parents to watch Night Watch - that was funny
• And some other stuff...

Fatal flaws that render me useless:

• Arrogance
• Selfishness
• Lack of trust
• Tendancy to judge people before I know them
• Desire to make things easier than they can ever be
• Laziness
• Refusal to accept my place, regardless of what place it is
• Tendancy to make jokes about other people that I wouldn't allow to be made about myself - even people I really like
• Cowardace.

So don't count on me for nothing. There's reasons why I get on better with computers than anything else.

I'm glad Finland's Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest. They were the only act that was better than Lithuania's "We are the winners, of Eurovision".

• Didn't have to get up till like 11
• Fleur was online ^^
• Had nice, under 30p tinned soup for lunch
• The bus came like right as I got to the stop
• Got an excellent seat on said bus
• Didn't have to do anything at college but browse the internet
• Found out that my college work was all good. Especially the one I was worried about.
• Bus came as I got to the bus stop
• Another good seat
• Got home in good time
• had food - homemade chips, mushy peas, ketchup, bread and butter, vegetable-based imitation beefburgers.
• FREE SH1T! OMG. Box of free Flash Drives. Free desk tidy. OMG free. Long story. Flash drives only 32MB but that's beside the point.
• Writing first real blog entry in agggggges.
• I hope this continues.