Why? Why do you people bother to ask for my opinion, then blatantly disregard it?

 

I'm sick of people asking me if they should buy some shitty piece of hardware, then getting all defensive or just not caring when I say not to.

 

If I say don't buy it, that should be enough. By asking me you're admitting that I know more about it than you, and want me to make the decision. So if I say don't buy it, you should just not buy it. But ok, you wan to know why. I guess that's ok, if you want to know why so that you don't need to ask me next time. Saves me hassle, makes the world a smarter place.

 

So I explain why not to buy a GeForce 7300 (for example, I'm not picking on anyone in particular, this is just a common one). I explain that the 7 doesn't earn it the right to be a GeForce 7. I explain that all it actually does is display the Windows Vista Aero desktop nicely. And that gaming on it is like trying to cook a steak on a radiator. And for the most part, you all agree with me.

 

Then, after we've been through how the stupid thing you chose to buy is below junk. And how you're not a bad person because you selected it, just not a very smart one. And why. After that... you buy it anyway.

 

And some of you think that if I don't find out, you'll somehow get away with it..? Like I'm some evil force that takes good products and makes them bad JUST because you suggested them.

 

Come on. You're dumb. The thing you want to buy is shit. You don't know what you're doing. I do. It's very kind of me to tell you not to buy it, to explain why, and to suggest an optimal alternative. So why do you repay me by disregarding my opinion? For god's sake why?

 

And the secrecy?! WTH? REALLY?! WHAT THE HELL IS UP WITH THAT?

 

"oh... I better not tell him... he told me not to buy it, nobody tell him I did." nice move fucktard. Not only do I always find out, but often it's because you told me because you can't even keep your own stupid secret. You take the same attitude as if you're quitting the job you've been at for years, and I'm your boss who's always been kind to you.

 

Then it gets worse. Because then comes the other shit. Yeah, the worse shit.

 

Could go a number of ways.

 

1. You're so fucking dumb that you actually think it's good. You think the graphics are better - even though you've got the game's settings all at their lowest, and your resolution is 800x600. Then you have the nerve to show me, and expect me to NOT ONLY be impressed, but also to somehow admit that I was wrong.

 

Of course, that's not how it goes down. How it goes down is that I point out what's wrong with it. Every last thing. And I say it in such a way as to make you so disappointed and feel so stupid, that even I question the morality of what I'm doing. But only until I realise how I'm the smart one here and you're the dipshit that's riding a wave of stupidity all the way to the magical land of Sony mp3 players and QVC.

 

2. It doesn't work and you expect me to do something about it. You've bought your Gateway computer and now it won't even boot. Rather than calling the manufacturer you called me, because you associate the decision to buy it with me, and assume I have a duty to fix it. I guess because you've mentally glossed over my opposal to the purchase.

 

So I tell you it's going to be expensive. Because I'm going to take out half of the components and replace them with the ones I said I'd use if you let me build you one. There goes the warranty you paid an extra £300 for (why the fuck did you do that and then call me anyway?).

 

3. It doesn't work and you make do. You're so talented at behaving irrationally and clearing your mind of logical thought that you find ways around every problem you encounter. Stupid ways. The computer takes over 10 minutes to shut down so you just unplug it every time you want to turn it off. It takes 20 minutes to start up so you turn it on and then go and do something else... Things like that. Yeah.

 

Eventually it stops working entirely, but when I come round (you offer money) I just tell you to find a length of rope, use it to tie yourself to the machine, then throw it off of a high building. You picked your perfect partner, you fucktard.

 

4. You feel I wasn't strong enough in my argument against it. You assume that I wasn't telling you everything, and if I had, you wouldn't have wasted your money. I'm the bad guy here, as far as you're concerned and you're so angry that you're going to disregard all reason in your struggle to prove that I'm a fraud, and that I know nothing.

 

Nobody fucking cares about what you have to say.

 

There's others. Of course. You psychotards aren't exactly unpredictable but you are pretty good at thinking up new ways to achieve the same result.

 

No I'm not going to ever accept that you chose not to do as I said. No, I wasn't wrong. No, it's not nice to have the most expensive one sometimes. No, there's nothing rewarding about getting the one in a nice box. No you don't have any experience in this area. And no, you can't convince me to see it your way.