What is it about these god damn scam-spam emails? I mean, who honestly thinks they’re going to somehow make money of it?

 

It would make me physically sick if I ever had a thought that led to me wondering if annoying everybody on the planet would make them want to buy some piece of crap from me, aside from goods or services that would lead to my (un-?)timely demise.

 

It’s not even like they’re trying to sell me things I want. They might have a chance of catching my attention if they were selling “Discount Hardware!” or “Free MMO for make good free time!!”

 

But no, they’re trying to sell me dodgy pharmaceuticals and Nigerian gold. Does Nigeria have gold to spare?

 

Can a tablet I’ve never heard of solve all my problems, whilst maintaining the same ingredients as horse manure? Not unless I need to make a scale model of a stable prior to it being mucked out in order to win the title of God.

 

And then there’s the ones enquiring about my recent application for a mortgage or loan. What is the idea behind those? Are they hoping I’ve just applied for a loan or mortgage and have forgotten what company I applied to? Am I expected to click one of their inappropriate looking links? Why? And how will that help them?

 

Unless they’re going to spend the next four hours giggling in the corner because they wasted my time/got my hopes up (ooo Loans!), I don’t see how it was worthwhile.

 

Yes, I know they have “zombie” computers to send the spam, but the damn things were designed and written by some loser.

 

Sometimes when I’m on Skype, I’ll get a random loser trying to offer me a PS3 or something. You know what I do sometimes? I spam them back. Set up a macro on my Logitech G11. Press the button over and over. See how they like it. One once said to me (after I stopped) “fool big fool”. Which I found most satisfying.

 

Arses like that are part of what’s wrong with the internet. If they want to break the law, they could just download music illegally… that only pisses off the RIAA and the BPI. And they deserve it.

Easter is about when Jesus died but then rose from the dead.

 

So... there's zombie films on TV. I guess that figures.